The Swinger Lifestyle: 5 Common Misconceptions
What is the first thing you think of when you hear about someone engaging in the swinging lifestyle? Are you shocked? Does it make you feel uneasy? Does it cause a curiosity and desire to find out more?
There are many misconceptions that come with the swinger lifestyle. Because sexuality tends to be a topic many people shy away from, these misconceptions often lead to stereotypes and a negative attitude toward those who participate. Below, we’ll discuss five misconceptions and provide you with some more information about swingers.
1. Swingers are old and unattractive.
Characters representing the swinging lifestyle in movies and on television shows are often old and unattractive, making a joke about the lifestyle. However, this isn’t the case in real life. Just as with any other group of people, there is a lot of variety in the individuals that make up the group. Many swingers are in their 20s, 30s, or 40s and even older. Some are very physically fit, others have an average body type. Swingers might be tall or short, blonde or brunette, wear glasses or not. Every person is different and there is no one standard type of person who engages in a swinger lifestyle.
2. Swingers are extremely liberal.
Again, there is no standard when it comes to who can be, should be, or is a swinger. Many individuals and couples who are swingers are conservatives. Many have families and believe in strong family values. Most will not allow their sexual preferences to influence home life and children will usually not be made aware of their activities. Being a swinger is just one aspect of an individual’s life and personality. It doesn’t define a person or determine how they will live their life.
3. Swingers are greedy or selfish.
The reason behind this misconception most likely comes from the idea that those who swing want it all. They aren’t happy with their significant other so they want to find more sexual partners, more stimulation, and more attention. In fact, one of the keys to having a successful open marriage and swinging lifestyle is to start with a relatively happy marriage. Communication is an important part of the relationship and trust is a necessity. Those who are engaging in swinging are not bad people or doing something wrong out of greed and the need for more sexual activity. It’s a simple matter of a couple having a mutual desire to pursue this type of relationship. It does not signify negative personality traits like greed or selfishness. Many people involved in swinging communities donate to charity in the same way that anyone else would. Others use the network to raise awareness about issues. That’s a far cry from being self-absorbed.
4. Swingers are unhealthy and often smokers and drinkers.
Sure, some people will choose to drink and smoke. This is true in any group. However, for the most part, those who are engaging in swinging are pretty healthy. Unlike what people may assume, swinging usually doesn’t involve throwing names into a fishbowl and ending up with whoever’s name you happen to pull out. Swinging involves selecting the person you will engage in sexual activity with. There is a level of attraction involved and the individuals will want to be physically attracted to one another. Those who are damaging their bodies with smoking and drinking will most likely not be as physically attractive to others.
5. Swingers will have sex with anyone.
This is most common misconception about swingers. Many people assume that when someone is involved in swinging, they will be ready and willing to jump into bed with anyone that comes by. This is completely untrue. Choosing a partner is still a decision, not an assumption that anyone will do. There will often be a physical attraction, sometimes even a more in depth relationship with the other person before any sort of sexual interaction takes place. Many swingers tend to be more sexually free or open than others, but this doesn’t characterize them each as nymphomaniacs. Those who are involved in the swinging lifestyle are most often very aware of the risks of unsafe sex, take every precaution, and only engage in sexual activity with those who they have a level of trust with.
The key to understanding any lifestyle is to learn more. Before making assumptions, find out more about the lifestyle and those who choose to be involved.
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